eau de ewwww

Dear Ladies Who Get Ready in my Gym's Locker-room,

While I'm sure you all think you smell fresh as a daisy, you don't. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your collective fragrances make me gag. There is literally a haze in the air from your various offensive scents. Though the cloud of Aussie Scrunch Spray takes me back to my middle school years, I still consider it air pollution. Plus it doesn't do much for your hair except make it look shellacked and smell strongly of faux grapes. Invest in better hair product(s), please. And know that you don't have to pile it on, haven't you ever heard the phrase "less is more"? If you're leaving a trail in your wake that assaults my olfactory senses, you might want to tone it down a notch. Plenty of lovely, subtle perfumes and beauty products are out there - and if you can afford a gym membership, you probably have room in your budget to spring for some. Just a thought!

Sincerely,
fabdiva

brokedown palace

I was out of town for a week. When I returned, my laptop's hard-drive decided it would be fun to pretend to die. Probably punishment for leaving it alone so long. Luckily my computer whiz b/f managed to resuscitate it long enough for me to transfer my important files to a Zip disk. Then we tried to purchase a replacement hard-drive at CompUSA, which turned out to be sheer torture. Several employees were in plain sight, but we had to wait 20 minutes for one particular representative to help us, because apparently none of the others who were standing around could do his particular task. 20 minutes behind a couple with a child that was hacking like he had black lung disease - oh and did I mention I am a huge germophobe? I was anxious to see what specialized services this man would be performing for us, after such a long wait. When the representative finally directed his attention to us, all he did was call to the back for a part, and we waited another 20 minutes for the part to make its way to the front of the store. Unfortunately, the connector was the wrong size and it would not fit. So it was a total waste of time.

Adding to the fun, our refrigerator conked out. I know, it is like our house had some kind of electromagnetic force field surrounding it! Contact the Exorcist. Of course that means we had to transfer what we could into 2 ice chests and throw the rest out. We left a voicemail with the property managers and our call went unreturned all weekend. I called first thing this morning and spoke with somebody who claimed they never received our message. Nice. They did send someone to fix the refrigerator, and it is running again (oh, better go catch it, har har) BUT even some of the stuff we tried to 'save' in the cooler went bad. The ice melted slightly and made some stuff waterlogged and generally gross. I am beyond irritated because on more than one occassion in the past I mentioned how old our refrigerator is, and how they should really consider installing a newer model before it goes kaput for good. The light and the ice machine weren't even operating when we moved in here three years ago! My mom said the owners of our unit are just hoping to sell it without having to put any more money into it, but I think that is really shitty.

I don't enjoy feeling outrage over the various ethical violations I encounter. I am sad people even behave improperly in the first place. Why can't everybody act right? But what makes me even MORE upset is when I run an offense by a normal, uninvolved person - and there is not even a smidgen of righteous indignation demonstrated on my behalf. Principles, people. Has the world misplaced its senses of justice and fairness? Society will merge into anarchy if everybody lacks morals. I'm not one of those freaks who believes the world should be Pleasantville, because I'm a realist and understand it is impossible as we are all human and make mistakes and nobody is perfect (including myself). However, I think it is pretty scary when people tolerate unacceptable behavior without question. I hope these aren't evidence of the collapse of mankind, like the way my laptop made weird clicking noises or the stuff in the freezer door started to feel a little warmer than usual were indicators shit was about to collapse.

star struck

Ok, call me a huge geek, but sometimes I wonder what I would do if I encountered a famous person. I would HOPE that I can be the play it cool type and just say "hey [insert name]" ever so nonchalantly.

If it is a celebrity I am a fan of, I might try to take it to the next level and say something insightful about the person's work.

I don't think I would gush and scream and engage in any other form of hysterics, but that isn't a guarantee it wouldn't happen. Because I do like to give credit where credit is due and voice my admiration for people.

On the other hand, maybe I would sit there tongue-tied, in awe, not uttering a peep.

girl power?

Maybe I am projecting my trust issues and progressive viewpoints here, but I do not see how some women can be so co-dependent. I could never rely solely on a man to make all my decisions for me. It might be nice to have a sugar daddy but I am not sure I would feel comfortable receiving an allowance of sorts indefinitely...what if I became accustomed to the lavish lifestyle and it was pulled out from under me by forces beyond my control, like Catherine Zeta-Jones in the movie Traffic? I am mildly appalled when women utter phrases like "I'll have to check with my husband" or "I'm a homemaker" or "my job is being a stay at home mom." Ok, so does that mean working moms have TWO jobs? Last time I checked, motherhood is a lifestyle choice, not a job. It is a responsibility and plenty of work, but I still wouldn't classify it as a JOB. I don't have anything against traditional families, but in this day and age it is a little sad to see women step into these roles without even considering or exploring an alternative. I am not a feminist per se, but I'm frustrated when I see people perpetuate gender stereotypes and cast away their independence for a house, car, kids, and stuff. If I opt to have children, I hope I will be a good parent, but parenting won't ever be the only thing I live for. Call me selfish but I have other goals I want to achieve for myself, and I need intellectual adult stimulation during my day or I'd go loopy from sheer boredom. When I cook dinner for my boyfriend (a rare occasion!) I certainly put Martha Stewart worthy effort in and hope he enjoys it, but I'm not doing it because I *have* to. I never worry he is going to yell at me because I haven't held up my end of the bargain and kept the house immaculate while he is at work all day paying the bills. And of course I need to consult with him about plans from time to time, and we discuss purchases or finances every now and then, because we live together - but I don't ask his permission for every move I make. I realize all relationships come with tacit trade-offs, and some of these are not wrong just because I do not understand them or would not put myself in that position. I consider myself sensitive, but I am also very strong willed and I couldn't imagine compromising my identity for anybody else. It just seems like an invalidation of your soul.

Edited to add...in case the subsequent comment wasn't clear...this whole diatribe was triggered when I received an email from a friend who shares an email account with her husband (who she married fresh out of high school because she got knocked up, but that is a whole other rant) because she "never found the time to make her own email address." Girl's husband is in the military and she doesn't work or go to school, so it would seem to me she'd be extra bored even accounting for the child she basically raises by herself...but whatever!

belated campaigning

choosecarbs
Originally uploaded by fabdiva.

rock the vote

An elderly man turns to his wife and asks if she has ever cheated on him.

"I love you," she says, "but I must confess. I've been unfaithful to you three times."
"What?!" yells her husband. "When?!"
"The first time was when we were denied a mortgage," she explains. "I went to see the banker, and persuaded him to give us a loan."
"The second time you were ill and we had no insurance to cover the medical bills," she says. "I went to the doctor and convinced him to treat you for free."
"And what about the third time?" the husband demands.
"Remember when you ran for mayor," the wife begins, "and you were behind by 300 votes?"




Joke courtesy of my boyfriend's issue of Maxim

boo

I'm still chuckling to myself when I recall Saturday night (chronicled below for your enjoyment). Yes, my response was probably immature and some of my actions unnecessary, but I will always stand up for myself even if it means being bitchy to get my point across. ;-) And I felt a little silly so I went with the ice cube throwing. I saw how the other half lives. While it gave me a measure of satisfaction and amusement, I will not be repeating such behavior.

Ok, moving along. I had a manicure AND pedicure today. Because I have a job interview tomorrow! woot woot. Last Friday I booked an appointment for a hair trim, but ended up getting a different cut. At first I worried it was too short but survey says it looks terrific, and I do feel more groomed with the new shape. I'd post a pic, but you know what they say, a girl has to reserve a little mystery. ;-)

My boyfriend is out of the US (the bastard, I wasn't even INVITED!) but I ended up being busier when he is gone than when he is here! I've eaten out almost every meal the last week, usually accompanied by one or more other people! This whole schizo social butterfly thing I do is pretty funny. One week I pretty much venture out for the gym, the next I make multiple plans each day. Coffees, lunches, drinks, dinners. I prefer to consider it selective recharging of my batteries.