girl power?

Maybe I am projecting my trust issues and progressive viewpoints here, but I do not see how some women can be so co-dependent. I could never rely solely on a man to make all my decisions for me. It might be nice to have a sugar daddy but I am not sure I would feel comfortable receiving an allowance of sorts indefinitely...what if I became accustomed to the lavish lifestyle and it was pulled out from under me by forces beyond my control, like Catherine Zeta-Jones in the movie Traffic? I am mildly appalled when women utter phrases like "I'll have to check with my husband" or "I'm a homemaker" or "my job is being a stay at home mom." Ok, so does that mean working moms have TWO jobs? Last time I checked, motherhood is a lifestyle choice, not a job. It is a responsibility and plenty of work, but I still wouldn't classify it as a JOB. I don't have anything against traditional families, but in this day and age it is a little sad to see women step into these roles without even considering or exploring an alternative. I am not a feminist per se, but I'm frustrated when I see people perpetuate gender stereotypes and cast away their independence for a house, car, kids, and stuff. If I opt to have children, I hope I will be a good parent, but parenting won't ever be the only thing I live for. Call me selfish but I have other goals I want to achieve for myself, and I need intellectual adult stimulation during my day or I'd go loopy from sheer boredom. When I cook dinner for my boyfriend (a rare occasion!) I certainly put Martha Stewart worthy effort in and hope he enjoys it, but I'm not doing it because I *have* to. I never worry he is going to yell at me because I haven't held up my end of the bargain and kept the house immaculate while he is at work all day paying the bills. And of course I need to consult with him about plans from time to time, and we discuss purchases or finances every now and then, because we live together - but I don't ask his permission for every move I make. I realize all relationships come with tacit trade-offs, and some of these are not wrong just because I do not understand them or would not put myself in that position. I consider myself sensitive, but I am also very strong willed and I couldn't imagine compromising my identity for anybody else. It just seems like an invalidation of your soul.

Edited to add...in case the subsequent comment wasn't clear...this whole diatribe was triggered when I received an email from a friend who shares an email account with her husband (who she married fresh out of high school because she got knocked up, but that is a whole other rant) because she "never found the time to make her own email address." Girl's husband is in the military and she doesn't work or go to school, so it would seem to me she'd be extra bored even accounting for the child she basically raises by herself...but whatever!