partly sunny

My mood is improving, incrementally.

Here's what helped:

+cleaning the house - my way. My approach has been compared to that of Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette's Friends character, not Lewinsky). I actually feel giddy when I'm organizing, carrying trashbags to the dumpster, scrubbing the bathtub, mopping the floor, or vacuuming the carpet. I stress out when I'm surrounded by clutter and "dirtiness" (my definition, not a normal person's) but feel soothed after I straighten up my space.

+visiting the gym. Yes, this has been a source of fretting before, but I try to zone out and go about my workout. Strangely, I've enjoyed completing lots of extra cardio - maybe my brain is craving some endorphins. I've lost 2 lbs. (not that I need to, I'm already underweight) and perversely that made me feel good. Unfortunately, my mom now suspects I have an eating disorder which is ridiculous because I enjoy food too much to abstain from it or um, revisit my meals.

+exploring new stores. This morning I finally went to the Asian grocery downtown. I always intend to go but never make the trip. It was neat! Almost like being in another country. I highly recommend venturing out of your element to simulate a mini-vacation. Plus I saw several intriguing varieties of green tea I'm planning to try when I run out of Sencha!

Here's what didn't help:

-my sweet tooth. Why have the taste buds abandoned me? I wasn't even in the mood to LOOK at the dessert menu at dinner last night. I did not savor my vanilla soy latte this morning. I couldn't bring myself to purchase a single frozen treat at the health food store, the Asian grocery, or the regular supermarket. Nothing appealed to me.

-regular errands. Am I the only person who thinks it is incredibly rude when people don't return their shopping carts to the store, or at least to the cart corral areas? Especially when they were lazy and parked about two feet away from the entrance? Would I be out of line to shove a cart into the offender's vehicle, to demonstrate what these carts do (to other people's cars) when they're carelessly left behind? For some reason this particular demonstration of pigginess is setting me on edge lately. It makes me even madder when the person looks guiltily around before hopping into their vehicle and leaving the cart behind. If you don't want anyone to 'catch' you, you probably shouldn't be doing it!

-books. I truly "devour" books and finish them very quickly. I'm also one of those annoying people who reads EVERYTHING, from cereal boxes to airplane CPR instructions. However, my recent choices in reading material aren't satisfying, some are downright depressing.

the glass is half full

I can't stand seeing the pitiful ~sigh~ entry at the top of the page. I thought about just deleting it but it really did capture my mood, and this is supposed to be a journal, so of course nobody should expect every entry to be laced with butterflies and sunshine.

I still can't think of anything super cheery to write, but I have to believe that deep down inside, all people want to be good (how very Anne Frank of me...btw if you haven't read her diary you ought to. Maybe I'm a little morbid but I've read it more than once.)

It is hard to balance my optimistic side with my very logical personality. After all, doesn't everybody have a CHOICE whether they want to "do the right thing"? The rational black-and-white part of me screams "yes, when it comes down to it" but the sensitive part of me considers what factors may have shaped that person's life. Poor parenting contributes to a lot of society's problems. If a child is exposed to a dysfunctional role model, does (s)he deserve allowances as an adult? I'm really not sure. It boggles the mind to imagine all the ways behavior can be reinforced.

I intended a light-hearted tone, not a departure into the world of psychology theories.
Without further ado, for your enjoyment:
http://www.cockeyed.com
(no, it isn't a porno site! you can look those up on your own!)

~sigh~

That's nearly all I can muster right now. I've always been a very passionate, expressive person. When I feel this *blah* it is a very bad sign. I'm not the "pity party" type either so I don't enjoy wallowing in a depression because I prefer to maintain a state of realistic optimism and enchantment with the world (tempered, of course, by my fits of anger against unsuspecting gym-goers, pedestrians, and motorists). I hardly ever cry, even at funerals. I don't drown my sorrows in alcohol (I rarely drink, and I try to stick to a moderate amount when I do even though I'm a lightweight) or pints of ice cream (don't want to be sad AND a pig, besides, I lose my appetite when I'm truly upset). I'm not a manic "retail therapy" shopper, practicality hinders that. I guess it is just as well that I avoid using such vices as a crutch but I really would welcome some sort of distraction right now.

:-(

I hate when people 'play the victim' and what I'm about to say definitely sounds martyrish - but the fact is, other people can be responsible for your bad mood. I know, I shouldn't LET anyone negatively affect my emotions but that is part of being human. And right now I'm silently blaming a specific individual for my melancholy (no, I won't name names) which just feels SO foolish and helpless to me. I hate being in situations I can't escape with wit and logic.

penance

Ok, I feel slightly guilty for expressing such uncharitable thoughts, so I will try to counter the negative with some positive with a quick list of things that make me very happy! It doesn't take much to thrill my soul.

-dogs, especially puppies (my favorites are black or chocolate labrador retrievers, vizslas, bulldogs, minature daschunds, and weimaraners)

-bargain shopping

-non-fat or soy lattes (preferably with mild flavor like vanilla)

-fresh laundry

-snappy new footwear (all the better if acquired on sale)

honesty

My thoughts are a little swirled together today. Here's a sampling of what I've been pondering.

#1 - Should I feel annoyance or pity when people try to pass off being a resident of one area when their domicile is actually in a much different area? Part of me is tempted to call them out and say "oh, just admit you live in a rural/shady/shitty suburb", but the other part of me feels sorry for these people because they are obviously embarrassed enough about their neighborhood to lie about it. I don't quite understand this because I grew up in a very small country town that most people have never heard of, but I don't claim it was the next metropolis over to simplify the explanation. I'll clarify and describe the town's exact geography, no reason to stray from the truth.

#2 - When I'm at the gym and see a person using completely improper form, should I bother to instruct and correct in a gentle voice with a charming smile, or should I simply continue to engage in a private snicker about it? What especially annoys me is people who use momentum (which obviously, to an untrained eye, LOOKS like it is more advanced) and seem SO pleased with themselves (even though they aren't really working anything!). After all, these people are only fooling themselves by cheating.

#3 - If a person blithely steps out in front of me when I'm trying to drive (this happens a lot in parking lots, though most stores have a designated crosswalk area and it seems like common sense to get out of the way when cars are attempting to pass) would it be totally evil of me to lean on my horn and honk at the individual? The only reason I refrain from doing this is fear they'll recognize me inside the store, though it is technically an instinctive reaction on the jaywalkers behalf, motivated by concern for their saftey (ok and maybe a little bit for my own well-being, I'd like to avoid a negligent vehicular manslaughter charge - even though the fault would really belong to the idiot who stepped into the road without warning).

#4 - Most of us have probably encountered people who claim they need to do something (quit smoking, quit drinking, go on a diet, start working out, pay their bills, save money, etc.) but never actually do it. Am I the only one who feels an overwhelming urge to shake these people and tell them to stop whining and follow through? I don't really care whether someone smokes, drinks, goes broke, gets fat, etc. as long as nobody is being hurt by the behavior...but I do care if I hear the person moan how terrible it is, all the while engaging in the "offense" he or she allegedly desires to change. Actions speak louder than words, people. Talk is cheap. Back it up if you really mean it, otherwise shut up.

#5 - Why can't these moms who can clearly afford to shop all day spring for a babysitter or nanny so their enormous strollers are not blocking whole sections of stores? Similarly, why is it ok for children who are definitely old enough to walk to be in a stroller? The bigger kids never seem happy to be cooped up in such a contraption.

#6 - Fakeness (the personality variety or the consumer variety) do others spot it as readily as I can, or am I just hyper-critical and obsessively detail-oriented? Are the people who appear to flaunt it really enjoying themselves, thinking they've gotten away with it, or just hoping they can escape notice? Do those who are also attuned to it proud of their ability to spot it?

#7 - Am I a weirdo for debating whether or when it is worth it to put others "on blast"? Does it make me diplomatic and accepting of others, or merely too chickenshit to speak my mind?

tranquil

I enjoyed a manicure and pedicure this morning. I absolutely LOVE getting my nails done. I can achieve a nearly professional result myself, but it is wonderfully indulgent to allow somebody else to take over. Plus the manicurist performs extra steps that would freak me out, like cutting off all the excess skin around my fingers and toes. I don't mind applying Solar Oil and pushing my cuticles back, but for me to actually use those nippers would probably yield injury (despite the grace and skill I exhibit in yoga, Pilates, or the dance floor, I'm a huge spaz when it comes to ordinary tasks). And once all the trimming is complete, your beautifully polished nails sit there like naked little jewels. Seriously. Then the next week or so, everytime you look at your hands or feet you feel a little frisson of pleasure and congratulate yourself for being so well-groomed. Unless maybe you pick the wrong polish and then you regret the color choice. I try to mix it up a little, but I stay within the neutral range for my fingers (today: Sheer Blossom) and experiment a bit more for my toes (today: Snow Pearl). I'm a little wary because both were in bottles that were only marked with a name on the bottom and I'm used to the brands OPI and Essie. We'll see whether these shades last as long, I'm not totally dismissive of unlabeled products, just skeptical.

When I returned to my house, I capped off the unwinding process with a delightful cup of Sencha green tea (I would link directly to the page on the site you can purchase it from, unfortunately it has that weird navigation thing where only the main web address shows up). I began drinking green tea before it was the fashionable thing to do, so I've compared many varieties over the years, but this is easily the most amazing! I love food and drink with a taste that leaves you feeling pure and refreshed (though I do have a major sweet tooth!). After that I was ready for a rejuvenating nap (not that I need any beauty rest). I slept most of the afternoon. Tomorrow I'm visiting a friend's new apartment and lunching with said friend, so I'm looking forward to eating good food and showing off my shiny digits.

hoot hoot

I prefer to start my day early, but I don't necessarily consider myself a "morning person" because I feel equally comfortable staying up late. Usually I slip into night owl mode when I'm reading and can't stop (either out of pleasure or necessity) but occasionally the reason varies (socializing, too much caffeine, emotional stress, sickness, getting sucked into watching something on TV - not all at once, of course!).

It sounds SO cliche to say this, but my perception of the world shifts when I'm sleep deprived. I think about different things, simultaneously feeling connected with and detached from humanity. I wonder whether other people, suffering from insomnia or simply giving into their natural rhythms, also look at the clock and realize it is "the point of no return" - when you're going to have to face tomorrow (technically later today) on little or no sleep. Depending on my mood and reason for lack of slumber, I either feel a slight exhilaration (yes, I'm lame and feel amused when it is way past my bedtime!) or dismay and frustration (which only happens if I won't have the opportunity to catch up on my rest the following day).

I can still pull an "all-nighter" but it wipes me out harder than it did just a few short years ago. Back in the day, I routinely operated on a few hours a night, and my life seemed slightly more efficient than it does now. I believe in the theory about a body in motion remaining in motion. In my experience, being TOO comfortable leads to laziness, a trait I abhor. The late nights, especially the solitary ones, give a broader sense of perspective.

catharsis

If you're one of the two people who reads "The Diva Diaries", you've probably noticed I enjoy venting. I don't believe in repression (except for psychopaths, who should definitely try to repress their sick urges) and prefer to get things out in the open. Keeping it to yourself is just a fast track to ulcers and heart attacks! It is much better to share!

I don't even consider myself an angry person, I just think the world would be greatly improved if everyone did the RIGHT thing (rather than the cool thing, easy thing, wrong thing, etc.) I mean, is it really that difficult to have manners and be considerate of others? Apparently for many, it is...

Sometimes when I am especially frustrated, I turn to my little friend Planet Feedback (http://www.planetfeedback.com). Not only to I get to unload my complaint du jour, but I also get to see I am not alone. Oh no, there are many in the same boat, all expecting businesses to appropriately serve us customers. Also, some people write letters that demonstrate their tenuous grip on reality, and I like to laugh at these attitudes of entitlement and misperceptions.

storm's a-brewin'

According to various weather reports, a Category 2 or 3 hurricane is supposed to hit sometime tomorrow. Ever the prepared Girl Scout, I decide to head to Sam's. This was my first stop of choice because I have a business membership which has special perks. Business members can shop between 7am-10am, before the store is open to the general public, which is a big plus in my book - not only because I am an early riser but also because it sickens me to go during normal times and see people's carts filled with sugary snacks rather than office supplies. Apparently, due to the storm, Sam's decided to waive the rules and extend these early shopping hour privileges to everyone. I wouldn't care if these people were acting like it is a genuine emergency and stocking up on necessities like, oh, water. But no. It was a bunch of idiots who were buying things like gallon tubs of ice cream and knockoff Banana Republic appliqued tank tops. WTF?!?! Seriously, they should have been turning away people whose carts did not contain batteries, non-perishables, etc. and telling them to come back during regular business hours to get their junk on. It was like these people had waited their whole lives for the opportunity to rush there early and buy a bunch of crap!

After this, I needed a vanilla soy latte to soothe my nerves before I could face the gym. Fortunately, the barista was cute and chatty and remembered me from yesterday so that harmless flirting calmed me down a little. I also called my brother and he laughed with me about Sam's, which made me feel less evil for harshly criticizing the dietary and wardrobe choices of others. Surprisingly the gym was painless and my workout proceeded without incident.

Then I made the mistake of going to the supermarket. It looked like the day before Thanksgiving. The buggy area was empty (which was fine with me, I prefer to use the hand-held basket because it furthers the quest for arm definition) so I should have heeded that as a sign to pop a tranquilizer before venturing forth. But no, like a soldier I pressed on. I quickly wove around the jammed aisles and scooped up what I needed. However, some motherfucker(s) hogged all the good tuna! The only cans left were low sodium and 'in vegetable oil'. I picked up the former (which costs almost $2 a can, by the way) and grumbled about greedy piggies. Then I huffed down to the canned pasta and nearly had a heart attack because my favorite variety was nowhere to be seen. Luckily, I spied some, two shelves lower than normal and pushed off to the side. Was someone trying to create a hidden stockpile in the store??? Or, in their haste to clamor for the shitty kind, did people unintentionally move "mine"? hmmmm. No matter, I had what I needed. Finally, I head up towards the registers. Naturally each is open with a huge line. I stand off to the side of a man with only a few items in his cart so I do not block the aisle, where a constant stream of people are passing by. A few minutes tick by, then this old crone tries to butt between me and the man. As I was eyeing her and opening my mouth to say "sorry, the line starts behind ME, sista" the man who was technically ahead of me said "you go" and winked at me. I love that man. I know we're supposed to respect our elders and odds are she has less time left on this Earth than me, but damn, you are NOT cutting after I've stood here eagerly waiting to escape the fiery pits of hell! I think he observed I was about to get into an altercation with this (and I use the term loosely) lady and acted quickly to defuse the situation. Bless this gentleman for giving up his turn to my impatient, impertinent self and preventing battery on a senior citizen. His kindness restored my faith in humanity. Until I tried to put some gas in my car.

I roll up to my usual gas station (an independent, family run...not very fancy, the pumps are super old and slow, even if I ate processed snacks like Combos I wouldn't buy one from their store because it would probably be stale, but this family works SO hard and their gas is much cheaper than the recognized chains). All the premium gas is gone. I don't know if other people actually consumed it all or whether the owners decided to capitalize on the potential disaster and are planning to price gouge us later, but either way I am irate. So I drive to Texaco. Every pump was occupied. Damn, I just want a little gas so I can drive to my parent's house in case we're forced to evacuate. I'm not filling up spare containers like a crazy survivalist. Well, three times is a charm because the third gas station I pull up to is empty and there appears to be no shortage of premium gas. Ahhhh. Now I'm home, still fuming, but hoping maybe the rain will wash some of people's rudeness away!

road rage

If you've been keeping up, you should already know I harbor a petpeeve regarding people's driving skills, or lack thereof. I feel it would be therapeutic and quite possibly another lovely PSA to list my grievances against fellow motorists. I've already tried going the good karma route and wishing the other person a safe journey, but that didn't do the trick. I live in a state filled with a disproportionate amount of elderly and tourist drivers, which makes for quite the transportation nightmare. Honestly, sometimes I long to live in a city where everything is within walking distance, a subway ride, or deliverable! Then I wouldn't have to put up with ish like this:

1. slow drivers - Admittedly, I'm not the most patient person. In fact, I am a Type A personality. It ticks me off when people putter down the road. That is great you have nothing better to do than spend the WHOLE DAY to travel one mile, but the rest of us have places to go. And considering approximately half the population is also Type A, slow people should pick up the pace or risk bearing the brunt of an obsessive-compulsive aggressive meltdown one day!

1.a. parking lot stalkers - This ticks me off because these people are not only slow and rude, they are LAZY. Gee, I wonder why obesity is an American epidemic? Because these pigs want to park as close to the entrance as possible! God forbid they have to walk an extra hundred yards.

1.b. brake checkers - These assholes (oops, pardon my French - NOT!) actually seem AWARE they are holding up the 20 cars behind theirs, but think it is adorable to slow down even more and also tap their brakes every two feet. Its so cute they will probably end up getting shot one day!

1.c. ambivalent speedsters - Like the brake checker, this person doesn't want to speed up...until you attempt to pass. Then it is pedal to the metal as if the road turned into the AutoBahn. Ego issues, much?

2. tailgaters - I've ridden in the car with people who do this and feel the possibility of getting shot doing this is roughly equal to the odds of getting shot while brake checking. As much as I hate slow drivers, I wouldn't dare tailgate anybody, I try to pass or just grit my teeth or hang back if I cannot get around. Remember, the driver at fault is the one who rear-ends the other, even if that mofo was asking for it.

3. parking lot hogs (ver. 2.0) - For the love of Pete, please do not get a car (coughSUVcoughlargetruckcough) if you cannot handle the intricacies of parking it. There is no need to take up multiple spaces. This is another reason (besides exercise) that I park in Siberia, because I am petrified of somebody dinging my beautiful new car. I also want to throw in, look before you back out of a space...so many people seem to throw it in reverse without turning around to survey the parking lot, and I might be stuck behind your space because a parking lot piggy is stalking a space and I don't have anywhere else to go.

4. failure to signal - I hate when I pull up behind a car already seated at a light with no left turn lane and the driver ahead of me waits for the light to turn before signaling a left turn. Then I am stuck and I could have avoided it, if the person was conscientious. It is also crazy when you're behind someone, rolling along at 50, and the driver ahead of you abrubtly signals for maybe 2 seconds before stopping to turn.

4a. improper turning - See last sentence in above paragraph. Also, I can't stand it when people hold up traffic that is one way on either side to make a left. Can't you just go to the next intersection and make a U-turn? I don't understand how anybody can feel comfortable knowing there are 50 cars behind you, each driver hating you for the delay.

5. running red lights/stop signs - This is an accident waiting to happen. Bottom line. Pay attention, get off the cell phone, whatever it takes. You really should be in control of your vehicle because it only takes an instant to change your life or the lives of others.

6. attention seekers - Yes, I hear your thumpin' bass, it is rattling my windows and drowning out my tunes. Yes, I see that your windows are deeply tinted and you've got the pimped out rims. No, I don't think you are a gangsta. Yes, I think you are pathetic.

7. drinkers - I'm really speaking of the 21+ variety of beverages, but let's not forget - hot coffee can be a distraction, too! Seriously, a DUI costs far more than a taxi ride. And you aren't putting anybody at risk, including yourself.

8. multi-taskers - The other day I heard a news bit on the radio about people watching PORN on those dashboard DVDs while they're cruising down the road. Um, can't you wait until you get home? Similarly, at least put on lipstick/shave/read the paper/play Nintendo/etc. while you are at a stop light or complete stop, not when your foot is on the gas!

Do you feel sorry with what I'm dealing with? Do you empathize because you hate bad drivers, too? Do you ever fantasize of pulling a Fried Green Tomatoes and one day busting up the car of someone who grievously offended you? (sadly, this fantasy is no longer appeals to me now that I have a new car). Or do you recognize that you are in fact, guilty of one or more of the charming examples I described? Are you wondering what kind of car I drive so you can engage in one or more of these and put me over the edge?

winning the Lottery*

Do you ever play that game with yourself? Sometimes when I cannot sleep at night, I start imagining what I would do if I had an unlimited supply of money. Eventually I end up bored with the game and fall into a peaceful slumber. My hypothetical spending tends to fall into three categories: things I would buy for myself, things I would buy for people I care about, and lastly things I would buy to better the world.

A few choices fall into more than one category. For example, I would obviously take care of the 'givens' like bills, housing, investments, etc. for both myself and my immediate family. (sorry friends, you are on your own, but you can visit mi casa whenever you are invited...and I wouldn't cover the world's living expenses). Considering the amazingly good luck it takes to win the lottery I would try to keep my karma in alignment and donate to worthy charitable causes. I have a philanthropic spirit, even in my current modest life, I try to give support when possible - so I'm not fronting and trying to appear un-greedy when I say I'd share the wealth.

Then I'd be a little (ok, a lot) selfish and focus on making myself even more fabulous than I already am, taking my cue from celebrities and investing in all manner of personal assistants. Private chef? Check. On-call hair and makeup? Check. Wardrobe stylist? Maybe...I rather enjoy shopping! Trainers who visit my customized home gym? Check. Masseuse? Check. The beauty of this arrangement is two-fold. Clearly I would benefit, but it would also enable me to pull random strangers off the street who look like they need some grooming and change their lives for the better! Who hasn't seen a person (male or female) that is in dire need of immediate eyebrow maintainence? And I'm sure we ALL see people everyday who could use a trip (or membership!) to a gym and a delicious, healthy meal (not McBarf). These comments may seem a tad superficial but I assure you, feeling good about yourself leads to taking better care of yourself.

I would also love to travel more. Being on airplanes might be trouble because I really like leafing through that SkyMall magazine. However, I could buy all the gadgets to use during flights and then when someone seated nearby expresses admiration for it, I could pull one out of my bag *Oprah style* and present it with a smile, urging the person to keep it. See, it is the little things, man. Notice I didn't imagine chartering (or acquiring!) a private jet because then you couldn't perform random acts of kindness for fellow weary world wanderers. And I wouldn't want to be one of those idiots who pisses his or her lottery winnings away in a week.




*I am not referring to that creepy tale by Shirley Jackson, though I would recommend reading her short story if you haven't.

Mission accomplished

I found a beautiful couch yesterday! It is camel leather with a very modern silhouette. As an added bonus, it contains a pull-out bed! I just hope it blends in with the existing surroundings once it is delivered.

Interior decorating is my fantasy career, hindered mainly by my lack of mathematical skills. I seriously considered it, until I visualized myself picking out perfect flooring, window treatments, and furniture. When I supervise their placement, all end up the wrong size for the room's dimensions (miscalculated by moi) and the client fires me, then tarnishes my reputation by ranting about me to everyone. So I shamefully rejected that little fantasy. I'm sure the measuring and calculations become second nature for interior designers, but the prospect of all that artithmetic is daunting to me. However, I still enjoy browsing and immersing myself in different designs and textures. Without the fear of a malpractice lawsuit. ;)

Night at the Roxbury

Sad thought, not entirely induced by hangover either. I might be getting a little too old or a little too coupled up for the bar scene. Or perhaps there were just especially disgusting guys on the prowl last night...Because I certainly cannot recall ever feeling so violated after a simple evening of cocktails and conversation. One gentleman actually asked us (as a collective group question) whether we were going home to have a pillowfight. wtf?!?! Then another particularly persistent guy kept harassing a girl in our group because she was out without her boyfriend, ultimately screaming that he hated her because she came to the bar without her man. Sorry, I didn't realize those of us with significant others are supposed to remain chained to their side at all times. She was NOT leading this guy on, she obviously did not conceal the fact she has a boyfriend and was merely tolerantly indulging this drunk ass in polite conversation because he and his friend were practically on top of us. At that point I had enough and told him he needed to respect people's relationships and personal space.

I tend to come on strong with the bitchiness when confronted with such behavior because I am very petite and I feel like I need to emanate a "back the fuck off" vibe to ward off evil, psycho predators. However, some men - probably the same kind who think "no" really means "yes" - find this titillating, as if I am challenging them and perversely redouble their efforts. Um, no. Don't want to be your domme. It isn't a cute little game. I just don't want you flirting with me! Or touching me.

Today I was extremely hungover. I don't drink that often. When I do drink, I usually try to chase each alcoholic beverage with a glass of water to stay hydrated. Unfortunately that didn't happen last night. I only managed two glasses of water at the bar and one when I returned home. Again, I feel like I am getting too old for this - which is sad because I'm not old by any definition!

It's Friday, and I'm ready to swang...

Anyone remember that Aaliyah song? (hint: it was called Back and Forth, popular in the mid to late 90's)

Ok, enough name that tune. Weekends hold a certain amount of anticipation for most people. I tend to switch from one extreme to another. I'll either overbook myself or do absolutely nothing. This weekend is one of the former, evidenced by the following:

Today I spent over 2 hours at the gym, came home and held two telephone summits to discuss plans for this evening, took a long shower, gave myself a damn good pedicure (it looks professional...yay for me!), blowdried my hair (doesn't look professional - damn!), checked emails, and am about to finish a book. Later I need to run a few errands like picking up dry cleaning and hitting the ATM. After that I am engaging in the ubiquitious "girls' night out" to celebrate a friend's birthday.

Tomorrow my parents are coming to visit, then we are shopping for furniture, which will probably take most of the day. Though I plan on working out sometime on Saturday, if I can straighten up my house tonight and don't stay out too late I can probably go before they arrive in the morning - otherwise I won't have an opportunity until the evening and then I'll be tempted to skip because I'm sure my parents will take me out to lunch and/or dinner and I hate working out after I've eaten. According to a trainer at my gym, I *can* have Madonna's arms in 8 weeks, so I really want to see that happen! (truth be told, I don't think it is possible and I can't wait for the 8 weeks to be up so I can scoff when it doesn't become a reality, though I do hope I see some improvement...there's already plenty of definiton, oh yes, but I want to be RIPPED like Madge or SJP of SATC)

Sunday, of course, is the day of my favorite meal - brunch! My boyfriend's former roommate is now a server so he is going to hook us up with Mimosas on the sly (he claims all servers do this and it is a tacit 'perk' permitted by the owners of this particular establishment, so don't worry, he isn't going to get fired or anything!) I'm looking forward to the brunch because there is nothing I love more than a nice gourmet buffet. See, I'm a nibbler by nature, so I prefer sampling smaller helpings of various foods. Plus...lowering voice to a conspiratorial whisper...I can't picture this friend being a server so it will have some entertainment value, too. He's really not a "people person" at all, so I can't imagine him smiling courteously at the restaurant patrons and cheerily taking orders. Is that terrible of me to say? I just hope he doesn't throw food in someone's face and expect us to be his 'getaway drivers'!!!

Being (self) Centered

Yoga and Pilates are touted as some of the best forms of mental relaxation. Ironically, it can quickly turn into a stressful experience if people attending the class engage in rude and distracting behaviors. While most of the following suggestions seem like common sense, you’d be surprised how many times I’ve seen these offenses occur. So, I would like to share some etiquette tips. Of course these friendly suggestions will probably be lost on the actual perpetrators - but at least the people who DO adhere to common courtesy will get a knowing chuckle out of this!

Arrive on time.
These classes are about FOCUS. It is difficult to maintain focus if there is a constant stream of latecomers. Consult the schedule and get there a few minutes in advance to set your mat up…which brings me to my next point.

Allow personal space between yourself and others when you set up your mat.
Invariably, the late arrivals will throw their mat practically on top of someone else. Though sometimes there are also invasive weirdoes who do this when the room is nearly empty. Take a minute to survey the area and determine a reasonable ‘buffer’ between yourself and your neighbor(s). If the class is really full, a good teacher will note that and try to accommodate by switching rooms or starting a sign-up sheet to avoid overcrowding.

Wear appropriate clothing such as pants and a tank top.
Sorry but despite the comfort factor, loose fitting shorts are the biggest no-no…you end up flashing people during the stretches and who wants to see that? It isn’t a track or soccer field, or a 1980’s aerobics class, so leave the shorts at home!

Exposed bare feet should be clean and groomed.
Once in Pilates class this lady arrived late and set her mat up right next to mine. Later I caught a glimpse of her feet because they were practically in my face due to our close proximity. The soles of her feet were all mangled, absolutely covered in open cuts and scabs. It was completely unsanitary and grossed me out so much I couldn’t stay until the end of the class. A perfect pedicure isn’t a requirement, but you may want to consider putting on some socks if your feet are a health hazard or otherwise offensive.

If you must leave early, do so before the relaxation portion to reduce disturbance to those remaining for the entirety of the session.
Some people aren’t into the Eastern aspect of the relaxation period. That is fine, but as a general rule it occurs the last 5-10 minutes of class, and the teacher usually indicates this segueway by saying “we’ll begin the relaxation period” or “let’s go to the floor/our mats now” That is your cue to leave. Do not stay for the stretching then leave when people are attempting to breathe deeply with their eyes closed, it is jarring. Respect that many attend classes for this very reason (to quiet the mind and seek tranquility) and would prefer to end on a good note. I don't feel very peaceful cursing the rudeness of others after yoga.

Namaste. :)