~sigh~
That's nearly all I can muster right now. I've always been a very passionate, expressive person. When I feel this *blah* it is a very bad sign. I'm not the "pity party" type either so I don't enjoy wallowing in a depression because I prefer to maintain a state of realistic optimism and enchantment with the world (tempered, of course, by my fits of anger against unsuspecting gym-goers, pedestrians, and motorists). I hardly ever cry, even at funerals. I don't drown my sorrows in alcohol (I rarely drink, and I try to stick to a moderate amount when I do even though I'm a lightweight) or pints of ice cream (don't want to be sad AND a pig, besides, I lose my appetite when I'm truly upset). I'm not a manic "retail therapy" shopper, practicality hinders that. I guess it is just as well that I avoid using such vices as a crutch but I really would welcome some sort of distraction right now.
:-(
I hate when people 'play the victim' and what I'm about to say definitely sounds martyrish - but the fact is, other people can be responsible for your bad mood. I know, I shouldn't LET anyone negatively affect my emotions but that is part of being human. And right now I'm silently blaming a specific individual for my melancholy (no, I won't name names) which just feels SO foolish and helpless to me. I hate being in situations I can't escape with wit and logic.
:-(
I hate when people 'play the victim' and what I'm about to say definitely sounds martyrish - but the fact is, other people can be responsible for your bad mood. I know, I shouldn't LET anyone negatively affect my emotions but that is part of being human. And right now I'm silently blaming a specific individual for my melancholy (no, I won't name names) which just feels SO foolish and helpless to me. I hate being in situations I can't escape with wit and logic.
4 Comments:
Oh how I hear you. I'm in a major "funk" right now and need something to jolt me out of it. I'm about ready to take jumper cables and hook myself up to someone's "hot rod" (uhmm, well ...) for a much-needed energy boost.
Did the pain incident have anything to do w/ your funk, Miss Jodi? ;-) I hope not! Even cavorting with my friends the past couple days hasn't snapped me out of it yet. The prospect of a feng shui attack is tempting though...as is ordering dessert at dinner tomorrow night. I believe those are signs I'm coming around :-)
I *wish* physical pain were at the root of my funk; then, at least, I'd have some idea what the deal is. Alas, no. And I spent several days away, in Toronto, romping with a friend, which should have helped, but didn't. I'm hoping my the jacket I ordered from jcrew.com snaps me out of it (although I'm not really one who believes in "retail therapy") (a term I loathe!).
Gah! "[M]y the jacket"? Delete "my"! Oh my! Bah!
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