(road) rage version 2.0
I'll bet you thought my first list was exhaustive. But no, I have witnessed new levels of idiocy! And I am noticing a trend where these drivers usually combine two or more offenses.
For example, the gentleman (and I use the term loosely) at Sam's who parked at the closest spot to the entrance with his SUV, then left his cart in the parking lot (because God forbid he have to walk three feet back to the store or two feet to the cart corral), THEN drove away without his lights on (at 7:15am when it is still more dark than 'dusky' outside) and narrowly avoided hitting another car - all the while speaking on his cell phone. Hopefully he was dialing his therapist and saying "I'm an asshole and don't deserve to live, please prescribe me an overdose of Valium"
Then there are the people in SUVs who inexplicably creep through puddles as if the little pool of water is going to morph into a tidal wave and engulf their enormous vehicle. They also inch over a speed bump as if it is going to bottom out their chassis. Please! I can't leave out the cool guys (and gals) who buy a sports car and then trek down the road at a snail's pace, either. These automobiles are designed the way they are for a reason - to perform in the manner intended.
Also, I am seeing a shocking amount of laziness from my fellow gym-goers. I really don't understand it because presumably they go there to work out. First, there are the people who park in the handicap/fire zone area directly in front of the door, as if parking in the attached garage and walking down a flight of stairs would be too much exertion (for the record, I park on the THIRD floor of the garage and happily take the FAR set of stairs at a brisk pace - AND before you accuse me of being insensitive to the physically challenged, these all appear to be able-bodied individuals who lack handicap decals for their vehicles and are parking there for the convenience). Then there are the people who can't bear to drive up to the second or third level of the garage and create their own parking space by blocking an aisle (I saw this in 2 regular parking lots the other day, too!). Finally, there are these crazies who can't stay on their side of the lanes within the garage, which makes my heart pound wildly as I descend from my third story parking space to the street.
My next complaint isn't relevant to road rage, but it still falls under the category of "things that aren't right with the world" so I'll put it out here. I've always thought SlimFast bars and shakes were a total joke. I mean, isn't that why these people need to ingest the stuff in the first place - because they ate too much junk? To me, any kind of nutrition bar might as well be a candy bar. In fact, I'll occasionally eat a Pria or Luna if I'm craving sweets. However, this clamor for the easy way out has reached epidemic proportions (no pun intended). When I was at Sam's Club the other morning, I had to blink when my eyes wandered over to a crate of 'Carb Burner Drink.' Hello, there is this amazing beverage that has been around since the dawn of time called....water! And omg, it is calorie free, without carbohydrates (not that carbs are even the problem, but that would be a whole other post), tastes refreshing, and it is good for you! Holy shit! Alert the press!
For example, the gentleman (and I use the term loosely) at Sam's who parked at the closest spot to the entrance with his SUV, then left his cart in the parking lot (because God forbid he have to walk three feet back to the store or two feet to the cart corral), THEN drove away without his lights on (at 7:15am when it is still more dark than 'dusky' outside) and narrowly avoided hitting another car - all the while speaking on his cell phone. Hopefully he was dialing his therapist and saying "I'm an asshole and don't deserve to live, please prescribe me an overdose of Valium"
Then there are the people in SUVs who inexplicably creep through puddles as if the little pool of water is going to morph into a tidal wave and engulf their enormous vehicle. They also inch over a speed bump as if it is going to bottom out their chassis. Please! I can't leave out the cool guys (and gals) who buy a sports car and then trek down the road at a snail's pace, either. These automobiles are designed the way they are for a reason - to perform in the manner intended.
Also, I am seeing a shocking amount of laziness from my fellow gym-goers. I really don't understand it because presumably they go there to work out. First, there are the people who park in the handicap/fire zone area directly in front of the door, as if parking in the attached garage and walking down a flight of stairs would be too much exertion (for the record, I park on the THIRD floor of the garage and happily take the FAR set of stairs at a brisk pace - AND before you accuse me of being insensitive to the physically challenged, these all appear to be able-bodied individuals who lack handicap decals for their vehicles and are parking there for the convenience). Then there are the people who can't bear to drive up to the second or third level of the garage and create their own parking space by blocking an aisle (I saw this in 2 regular parking lots the other day, too!). Finally, there are these crazies who can't stay on their side of the lanes within the garage, which makes my heart pound wildly as I descend from my third story parking space to the street.
My next complaint isn't relevant to road rage, but it still falls under the category of "things that aren't right with the world" so I'll put it out here. I've always thought SlimFast bars and shakes were a total joke. I mean, isn't that why these people need to ingest the stuff in the first place - because they ate too much junk? To me, any kind of nutrition bar might as well be a candy bar. In fact, I'll occasionally eat a Pria or Luna if I'm craving sweets. However, this clamor for the easy way out has reached epidemic proportions (no pun intended). When I was at Sam's Club the other morning, I had to blink when my eyes wandered over to a crate of 'Carb Burner Drink.' Hello, there is this amazing beverage that has been around since the dawn of time called....water! And omg, it is calorie free, without carbohydrates (not that carbs are even the problem, but that would be a whole other post), tastes refreshing, and it is good for you! Holy shit! Alert the press!
3 Comments:
Once again, I agree with EVERYTHING you've written here. The last item in particular infuriates me on a level I cannot even describe. Just thinking about those "energy bars" and "energy drinks" makes my heart threaten to pound as if I'd just done an hour of hills on the treadmill. Whatever happened to eating REAL FOOD THAT IS HEALTHY and drinking WATER?
Damn you, Fabdiva. I'm getting all worked up!
Oh god, and don't even get me STARTED on this low carb/no carb bullshit!!!
Miss Jodi, I'm honored to be on your wavelength :-)
I edited to add one I forgot about. But it is about driving, which you luckily get to avoid for the most part in NYC!
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